aka… documenting my weight loss journey with brutal honesty, ADHD chaos, and zero shame

I’ve seen an insane amount of GLP-1 shot hate lately, and honestly? It’s exhausting. Everyone screaming about “discipline” as if all bodies, brains, incomes, traumas, and life situations are created equal. Spoiler: they’re not.

And I’ll be real — I’ve gone very back and forth in my own head about using the shot again. I’ve been off it for three months and put a significant amount of weight back on, but I’m still in a place where I can work out and can maintain if I’m careful.

But the hard part?
Everything around the weight.

Because as many of you know, I’ve got mental health stuff, let’s call it what it is:
a somewhat addictive personality, and food was my coping mechanism after I got sober.

I’ll never forget people telling me they’d “rather have me chubby than dead.”
So I ate.
And ate.
And ate.

I hit 330 lbs at my heaviest.
My joints hurt. My asthma was awful. My oxygen levels were trash. Going to the gym felt like failing in public. I’d burn out halfway through every workout, which made me feel worse and start the cycle again.

And while people love to yell about discipline, many of them live with neurotypical brains in stable routines with supportive households.

Meanwhile, I have:

• kids
• ADHD
• financial stress
• a chaotic life
• a brain that will chase dopamine over discipline 10/10 times

I’m lucky to have people who love me as the awkward, weird little gremlin that I am. But even though I’m miles from where I started, I’m not where I want to be yet.

So… I figured:

Let’s document the journey.

If I can help even one person feel less alone in this mess, then it’s worth writing.

Many of you know me from my book reviews (which aren’t going anywhere), and I’ve been so honored by your feedback and support.

But here’s a new chapter — literally and figuratively.

I also recently become an Amazon influencer and… haven’t done a damn thing with it yet.
Surprise 😆
So yes, eventually you may see product links at the bottom of posts. Clicking them helps support my family while I work three jobs, raise kids, and try not to stress-eat a small village.

So, let’s talk about fitness.

I’ve tried the 5 a.m. gym era.
Did I feel amazing for the first half of the day? Yes.
Did I nearly pass out by 1 p.m.? Also yes.

Diet?
Haaaa.
My kids’ primary food groups are:

• pizza
• chicken nuggets
• mac n cheese
• fries
• vibes

My doctor is like, “You don’t have to eat that.”
And I’m like, “But doctor… have you met ADHD and poverty?”

Because yes — despite working my ass off — I am still on welfare, which adds another layer to eating well. And another layer to guilt. And another layer to buying cheap-ass meals that the whole house might actually eat.

Enter: My off-brand infinity hoop.

I bought a knockoff because the real one is stupid expensive and reviews swear this one works too.

Day 1 is DONE.
My kids immediately stole the extra links.
Even the oldest one.
Apparently, it makes a good fidget toy 🤷🏻‍♀️

But honestly?
Their chaos kind of feels symbolic.
Like the universe is saying:
“Guess you’re not going back to a bigger size. Figure it out, babe.”

So here I am:

330 lbs start → down to 185 → off the shot → back up 25 lbs → trying again.

This time I’m doing it with honesty, accountability, and a maybe even a community.
The shot gave me a foundation, a stable starting point to build from after a lifetime of unhealthy coping.

Now I want to build the rest myself.

I know I can.
Even if I’m doing it awkwardly, imperfectly, and fueled by caffeine and spite.

If you want to join me on this hot mess express,
grab a seat.

Choo freakin’ choo, motherfuckers. 🚂🔥💜